Joshua Cody was about to receive his PhD from Columbia University when he was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. He underwent six months of chemotherapy. The treatment failed. Expectations for survival plummeted. After consulting with several oncologists, he embarked on a risky course of high-dose chemotherapy, full body radiation, and an autologous bone marrow transplant. In a fevered, mesmerising voice, slaloming effortlessly between references to Ezra Pound, The Rolling Stones and Beethoven, he charts the struggle: the fury, the tendancy to self-destruction, the ruthless grasping for life, for sensation - he beautiful Ariel who gives him cocaine and a blowjob in a Manhattan restaurant following his first treatment; the detailed Hungarian morphine fantasy complete with bride called Valentina while, in reality, hospital staff are pinning him to his bed.