To be human is to be in relationships. We can't survive without them but at the same time it's in our relationships that we so easily come unravelled. There are certain relationships that seem to just do us in. Either we feel like we lose ourselves or we feel burnt out from unsuccessful efforts to make things right for another. In our relationships we can experience the very best of ourselves and the very worst. Most psychological approaches to building resilience focus on the individual - the individual mind, emotions and experiences. The message of 'Growing Yourself Up', however, is that you can't separate understanding the individual from understanding relationships; they go hand in hand. All of life's relationships are integral to increasing self-awareness and growing maturity - and it's not necessarily the comfortable relationships that promote personal growth.